Dear Fans,
I have returned, after hiring a team of legal representatives to go after Bob and Matthew for the pictures posted of me earlier on March 29th.
My lawyers have now contacted Bob and Matthew, and reports tell me that they “broke down instantly and started crying.”
We’ve also placed a cease and desist order on the images. Anyone found in possession of these images will be sued so far into space that… er… you’ll float a lot.
—
Mike Macauley (and team of Hulking Men In Black Suits)